Robert meeting Lucille for the first time.
Robert is a main character in Meet the Feebles. He’s a british porcupine who is one of the few characters with no british vices. He is also one of the newest members of The Feebles acting troupe, and has a huge crush on Lucille, the chorus girl.
He is voiced by Mark Hadlow.
Appearance
Robert is a small, brown, round hedgehog with big brown eyes. He is mostly shown wearing a stripped tie and orange and white sneakers.
Sometimes, he can be shown wearing a black and silver fedora and a black cape when he's performing.
Personality
Being the new cast member of The Feebles, Robert is very shy and naive. He is also very friendly and kind when meeting new people (even if some of them are mean to him). However, when he thought that Lucille was cheating on him, he refused to see her again and treated her like she was a bad person.
It was also stated that he took up a drama class and tried to use some of the techniques he learned in a music number for the show (which, sadly, no seemed to care about).
As said up above, Robert is one of the few characters in the movie with no flaws whatsoever (since he states in some scenes that he doesn't do drugs or accept drinking and being cheated on).
Role in the Movie
When Robert first arrived at the theater, he needed helping finding Arthur, the stage manager, so he could get started on his first day. One of the people he first met was F. W. Fly, a filthy, nosy, muck-racking, journalist fly who said that he could take him to see Arthur. While being escorted, Fly told Robert that being a member of The Feebles isn't pretty because they run you ragid and the pay is lousy. The little hedgehog told the fly that he doesn't care about that because he thinks it's an honor just to be a part of the show. When they made it to Arthur's office (which is a hole in the wall by an air vent), Fly gave Robert a business card for the press, just in case he ever wanted to earn a little extra on the side. Arthur, who had heard everything, came out of his office and introduced himself to Robert. The old worm then took the business card out of his hand, and told him that Fly is not someone to be trusted because he's always trying to make up lies about the cast. All of a sudden, Heidi, the main star of the show, ran on by the two small creatures to go out jogging. Arthur asked Robert if he's ever heard of her, and the hedgehog told him that she's his favorite star.
Arthur then kindly showed Robert around the theater, and even introduced him to the chorus-girls. One of the chorus-girls, a poodle named Lucille, caught Robert's eyes and both seemed to fall for each other at first sight. Being too nervous to talk to her, Robert rolled up into a small ball and shivered. It's then shown that Lucille is also too shy to talk to him as well.
Robert was then shown watching Lucille sing in the chorus while they were practicing from backstage, but was then caught by Trevor, a rat who is constantly bullying the poor little hedgehog (and who also has the hots for Lucille). He tried to be polite and introduced himself to Trevor, but the rat just insulted him and told him to piss off.
Backstage, Robert was practicing on asking Lucille to go to the movies with him, but was still too nervous to talk to her. Luckily, Arthur was able to help him summon the courage to ask her out. Robert then found himself standing outside of Lucille's dressing room door singing a romantic song (wearing a cape and a fedora and playing a mandolin), while Arthur motivates him from around the corner of the wall. After hearing the first few verses of the song, Lucille opened the door, causing Robert to stop singing and drop the mandolin. Arthur still persuaded him to keep going, and does so by showing that he can sing beautifully. Thinking that he made a fool of himself, Robert told Lucille that he's sorry for disturbing her and that he'll never do it again. However, the plan actually worked as Lucille grabbed him by the hand and took him into her dressing room. The two young cast members then get engaged, as Arthur cries tears of joy at the beautiful sight.
While being shown moving his suitcase, Robert heard a cry for help coming from the theater's basement, and went to see what was going on. He followed the sound, only to find a cow known as Madame Bovine being tortured by a weta known as the Masked Masochist. Thinking that the poor cow was in danger, Robert came to save her by punching the weta in the face. He asked Madame Bovine if she was okay, but then found out that it was really just a porn film being directed by Trevor, who immediately kicked the "heroic" hedgehog off the set.
During practice, Robert tried to help out a musical number by using some theater techniques he learned (even though the only thing he had to do in the number was hold up a flag). However, Sebastian the stage director only found him to be annoying as he kept interrupting the number three times. Just as the angry fox was about to give Robert a piece of his mind, Arthur poked his head out from backstage and asked if he should cancel the knife-throwing act since Wynyard, the heroine-junkie knife-thrower, accidentally killed his assistant earlier on. This gave Sebastian an idea, as he gave Robert a sinister look and said that he has just the substitute.
Robert then met Wynyard in his dressing room, and asked the shell-shocked frog if he would like to the practice the knife-throwing act with him. Wynyard told the small hedgehog that he doesn't think it sounds like a hot idea (since his bad case of the shakes is what caused him to accidently kill his previous assistant), and then asked if he had any kind of drugs on him that he could use. Robert claimed that he doesn't take drugs of any sort (because he doesn't believe it's right to use them), which then made Wynyard tell him all about his experience in Vietnam. After hearing the story, the hedgehog began to feel a lot of sympathy for the poor war veteran who asked if he could pay a minimum of $50.00 for "The Vietnam Vet's Association" (when he's really giving him money to pay for the drugs Trevor is selling to him). Being the kind person that he his, Robert gave the money to Wynyard who thanked him by saying that the association was in bad need of a cash injection.
Later on, Robert told Lucille all about his meeting with Wynyard, stating that it made him realize how lucky he is. Lucille agreed as they both hugged each other and wished each other good luck for performing in the show tonight. Unfortunately, when Robert came back to Lucille's dressing room to return something, he shockingly found her being raped by Trevor (who had drugged her drink because he was trying to get her to be in the new porn film he's making), and is horrified at the sight. Trevor then leaves, telling Robert that she's all his (and that she's "a real, wild ride"). Thinking that Lucille was cheating on him, the heart-broken Robert broke up with her and angirly left.
During the show, Lucille tried to tell Robert the truth, but he refused to listen; saying that she's loose and that he never wants to see her again. He then walked away, leaving the heart-broken Lucille crying to herself.
When it was time for Robert to assist Wynyard in his knife-throwing act, he nervously stood still in front of the spinning wheel as the drugged-out Wynyard, who was high on the drugs he bought, picked up his first knife. Due to the effect of the drugs, Wynyard mistook Robert for an illusion of a Vietnamese gopher, and suddenly attempted to kill him. Robert luckily escaped, by running off-stage, just as Wynyard accidentaly threw one of his knives upward; causing it land onto his head, killing him (as the hedgehog watches in shock).
During Heidi's rampage, Lucille was about to be killed by the machine gun-weilding hippo, but Robert luckily saved her by swinging on a rope and picking her up. When they safely made it to the top of the stage, Robert apologized to Lucille by saying that he doesn't care what she did because he loves her so very, very much. He then asked her to marry him, in which she happily says that she loves him too and explained that she was never unfaithful because Trevor really drugged her drink and tried to ravish her. This made Robert mad, but luckily, just as Trevor was about to kill Heidi, he swung on the rope again, knocking him down, letting the troubled star kill the dirty rat with the machine gun.
In the epilogue, it is revealed that Robert got married to Lucille with two children, and even became an award-winning fashion photographer for a woman's magazine.
Relationships
Lucille
Arthur
He met Arthur
Barry
Though, Robert and Barry interact with each other, he interrupts his number two times.